Episode 196: Creature Feature: Golems

A return of a classic series: Creature Features!

In this installment, we talk about golems, the unstoppable clay (Wait, clay?) automatons, and similar constructs. Listen to find out how you can create a homunculus using porn and a horse uterus or a Seto Taisho through sheer laziness. We also discuss It!, the 1967 horror classic that shows how innocent we once were about the dangers of nuclear weapons and the durability of clay.

Episode 194 – Review: Mutant Chronicles

Flush with the thrill of pledging Mutant Chronicles: Siege of the Citadel, Jeremy and Lyal give you a Mutant Chronicles double feature review: the Mutant Chronicles RPG and the Mutant Chronicles movie! (Movie? There was a movie?) Come for the review of the techno fantasy RPG set in a dark dieselpunk solar system. Stay for the review of the box office smash acting masterclass movie starring Thomas “not Aaron Eckhart” Jane, Ron “I can’t believe he’s not Irish” Perlman, and John “One Take” Malkovich.

Episode 153: Warriors: Zulu Impi

“The bones must be thrown in three different places before the message must be accepted.
– Zulu proverb

What bones? Where are they being thrown? Couldn’t someone just sign for the message?

In this episode, we discuss the Zulu Impi, who conquered the surrounding areas and took on the British Empire. Be thankful that Chris didn’t write these notes or they would’ve been in Zulu. What’s the Zulu word for “pretentious”, Chris?

Episode 123: Cosmic Heroes

“In blackest day, in darkest night, may the force be with you.”
-Idle Red Hands

Go big or go home. This week we tackle a galactic sized topic with “Cosmic Heroes”. Marvel’s Nova Corps, D.C.’s Green Lantern Corps, the Jedi and other heroes – in spaaaaaaaace.

Episode 115: Creature Feature: Sin-Eaters

Have a bunch of hungry of listeners and only one hour to prepare? Well, if you have a corpse in the fridge and a few human foibles in the cupboard, you can satisfy even the most demanding guest with this zesty variation of our Creature Feature series.

Sin-eater Steaks

  • 1 corpse, brined in the tears of a condemned man
  • a splash of wasted ability
  • seven vulgarities, diced
  • 1 cup of the last words of a dying man (For a low-fat alternative, use the last words of a toddler.)

Cover the corpse in a sauce made from the ingredients.
Pass through the flames of Hell until the sinner recants or the meat is pink in the middle.
Slice into steaks and serve with sprigs of parsley, uh, from the damned.

Episode 72: Pantheon Pandemonium: Egypt

A lion, crocodile and hippopotamus walks into a bar. Oh, did I mention that this is just one  demon?
In this addition to Pantheon Pandemonium, we look at the Egyptians. As you would expect, we don’t talk about pyramids and mummies barely get a mention. Instead, we discuss ma’at, ka, ba, the Book of the Dead, some hippopotamus-lion-crocodile demon, and gay marriage.

Plus: D&D Next Diary

Episode 31: Warmachine & Hordes

In this episode, we look at the miniature wargames Warmachine and Hordes. We discuss our first impressions, for Chris and Yujiro, second impressions, for Lyal and Wayne, and whether we’ll play the games again.

If Privateer Press ever gets tired of the motto “Play Like You’ve Got a Pair”, here are a few suggested alternatives in the same spirit:

  • Ladies Need Not Apply
  • Men’s Time!
  • You’ll Die Alone
  • With an Apartment Filled with Miniatures, Dating Is Not Your Priority
  • Play Like It’s the 1950s
  • You’ll Have a Better Chance Meeting Women at Prison Than Across a Wargaming Table
  • Femiwhat?
  • All Sausage All the Time
  • Girls Have Cooties
  • Games Workshop Is for Women (and a lot of Men).

Episode 28: Giving Props to Props

In this episode, we look at props. Do they help to propel a story or just dress up a table? Does the use of props encourage metagaming? Should the gamemaster get the players involved in creating props? Why did Wayne choose a purple horse to represent his Vampire character? All these questions and more will be answered over the next hour.

Episode 27: Pantheon Pandemonium: We Do Voodoo

In this episode, we debut Pantheon Pandemonium, where we look at a specific pantheon and discuss how to incorporate it into your games. For our first installment, we talk about the spirits of the voodoo religion, the Loa.

Also in this episode, Wayne reveals a shocking secret about his dad.

At a certain point, it may sound like we’re joined by a surprise guest host. It’s just Lyal’s spot-on Haitian accent. The man has a gift.

Warning: Chris returns from the dead. (This joke would probably work better in a episode about Romero zombies.)

Episode 21: Elevator Pitch

When Hollywood runs out of Saturday morning cartoons to make into movies, we suggest a new source for shaky ideas: pen and paper roleplaying games. (Because, really, The Smurfs?)

In this episode, we discuss the few RPG movies out there, and then we pitch our own ideas for RPG movies.